It was time for surgery! This is old hat for Lemay. I have had 5 knee surgery’s in a relatively short amount of time so I was not nervous at all. Ok, let’s be honest, I was a little nervous. It wasn’t the fact that I was going to get a chunk of my boob & some lymph nodes taken out it was the about what they were going to find. You can see a bunch of things on the ultrasound but if we found activity in the lymph nodes this could change a lot of things. But if I can drink black coffee and walk out of the hospital, this will be a breeze.
My momma drove up to be my head nurse and most importantly help with the kids. This angel has seen me through it all. She would move in for weeks after each knee surgery. The second one I had the kids were 5 & 2 years old. That was a real tricky one. I was still in a no weight crutches zone and I remember trying to take the kids to the library story hour. It took about 30 minutes to get myself and both of them out of the car and car seats. We made a pact that each one of them would hold the side of the crutch until we get into the library. Sofija was all game- Hugo started out smooth, then he looks at me with a mischievous grin and off he goes. In our beautiful little town of Stowe- it’s a busy area. I start yelling and crutching toward him as he runs toward the road. He is free and testing his independence in the worst possible moment. I high tail it to the middle of the road- Sofi is crying I’m blocking traffic with my crutches balancing on one leg. Hugo may have been bribed with 2 episodes of Dora and ice cream for lunch. At this point story hour was half over, I was in a full sweat and my knee had its own heart beat. It’s was time to go home. Bad idea Lemay. Bad idea. We live and learn.
I have not met another human with a bigger heart than my mom. She is the modern day Mother Theresa. If you are lucky enough to know her, you know. She will do anything to help you. Anything. I am so grateful to have her as my mom. She has also gone through breast cancer so this one was a bit raw for her. Cancer goes in it’s own category. It’s unlike any other disease. I am still in the throes of it and will be able to articulate more as I go but the intense mental aspect is unlike any other.
A few days before surgery I knew I had to talk with my kids. Those two conversations were ones I will never, ever forget in my life. Cancer is a freaking scary word and trying to explain to your kids that you have it, but your going to be fine. And explain to them what you think you know is impossible because things are so uncertain and unknown. The conversations were both so beautiful and scary. Sad and smiles. Both so different. This is not a journey just for me, this is a journey for the whole family and everyone who is close with me. Igor has been a rock. That man knows how to draw his sword and protect his loved ones. I am grateful to be on that receiving end of protection this time. This is a long journey so I hope by staying open and communicative I can help us all weather the storm as smoothly as possible.
I had time to go walk in the woods that morning. I walk, I think, I add hearts to my heart rock collections, I walk, I think, I adore the beauty around me. I breath, I process. It was perfect. I’m ready.
We drive up, check in, you know the drill. As I’m waiting in pre-op I get some radioactive dye put in to see if there is cancerous activity in the lymph nodes- that was cool. I get a visit from Dr. Pete - thank you Dr. Pete for helping out SO much on this journey. Getting me connected so quickly, checking in, fielding Igor’s phone calls, I'm so grateful to have you in my corner during one of the scariest times in my life. Not to mention your hilarious stories to keep me distracted in pre-op.
Igor kisses me on the head and off I go.
ugh… coming out of anesthesia is tough. All I remember is thinking I was hitting a jump mountain biking and I was telling everyone about it. I’m mountain biking, I’m mountain biking! I also remember having Dr. Harlow came in and I was saying things like thanks Seth, your the man Seth. Hmmmm 🤔 keeping it casual Lemay. I also equate this feeling to some of those wild nights out when you wake up in the morning and start remembering things you might have said or done?? It’s bizarre.
Thank you Dr. Harlow and the whole team at UVM for everything. Being in such great care near the comforts of home is such a reassuring and comforting feeling. 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you.
As I come too, Igor is there, I drink some icy ginger ale and I’m ready to go! Oh I forgot to mention that I forgot my glasses so I couldn’t see much of anything- that wasn’t ideal 🤣 into the wheelchair I went. We hop in the mindful mobile to drive home and I see lots of beautiful text messages from dear friends and family- my long time dearest friend Gretchen is going to come visit me tomorrow. Yahoo 😍 I haven’t been able to see her in so long.
As I walk in the house I’m greeted by my loves and my mom and lots of flowers and snacks and smiles and hugs. I feel the love. The only thing that hurt was my throat- ouch!! I could barely keep my eyes open.
Time for bed.